^{*Some information has been censored for legal reasons and to protect the identity of everyone involved}

Narrative Number One

As I walked into the principal’s office, nerves rushed through my body, and my heart began beating faster. 

I still had no idea why they’d been to observe me three days in a row or why they returned after the reading lesson that went so well. 

I walked into his office and sat down with the three administrators, and they immediately went right into discussing all that was wrong with that horrible math lesson I’d taught. 

I tried to explain how incredibly nervous I was since they’d been in my room three days in a row, but they didn’t really seem to care. 

I was told, “Oh, you shouldn’t let us make you nervous.” Well, I thought to myself, under normal circumstances, you don’t make me nervous.

As the meeting continued, the principal began to explain the importance of collaborating with my team.

He went on to say he believed I taught that awful lesson because I wasn’t collaborating with my team during our team planning time that took place once a week. 

I wasn’t sure where this was coming from because I’m not sure that he had even stepped foot in one of our team meetings at this point in the year.

Not to mention, he had only ever come into my classroom to observe me teach, maybe a few times prior. Those few times, it was only for a few minutes each time, with zero feedback. This gave him no personal basis on how I perform as a teacher.

I also wasn’t sure how one bad lesson had anything to do with collaborating with my team. Meeting with my team or not, they wouldn’t be at fault for or have anything to do with me teaching a bad lesson.

The principal went on to explain himself, stating that me pumping breast milk for my baby during my planning period was causing the whole “collaboration issue.”

Now, just to clear some things up, before every collaborative team meeting, each first grade teacher would drop their students off at their next class. Then, most likely, stop to use the bathroom, maybe make a few quick copies of something, chit-chat with another teacher in the hallway, and/or quickly get some things done that they knew they wouldn’t have time to do after the team meeting.

Me? I would quickly get my students to their next class and quickly return to my room each day to begin pumping as soon as possible. This way, I’d have plenty of time to pump and complete some tasks I couldn’t do while pumping in my room, such as quickly making copies and using the restroom.

This meant that by the time I was done pumping and could join the team meeting, I would most likely have only missed the first ten minutes or so. At this point, the team would catch me up on what I’d missed and continue the collaborative meeting.

Now, back to the story.

The principal proceeded to tell me that I’d need to attend the weekly team meetings in their entirety from now on, which presented an issue since I was using some of that time to pump.

When he said this, I suggested I simply FaceTime a coworker for every meeting. That way, I can pump and attend the meeting virtually, just like I did last year. 

But no, no. According to him, you can’t truly collaborate if you aren’t there in person to collaborate with your team.

*Cue the worldwide pandemic & literally every human successfully working, meeting, and collaborating virtually*

So, I then suggested that I attend the meeting in person and just pump in the room with my all-female team. Of course, I’d be fully covered to not expose myself to anyone. 

But oh no, that wouldn’t work because he said, and I quote, “If I had to join the meeting for any reason, it would make me uncomfortable.” 

I had some raging thoughts in response to that statement and continued to offer a third compromise. 

I suggested recording the portion of the meeting I was missing. 

I could review it later and get with my team to discuss it. But no, that wasn’t good enough for him either—no more excuses at this point, just “no.” 

I tried one final compromise. 

I asked if he could have a teacher or parapro cover my classroom about 15 minutes before my planning period. They’d simply watch my students finish up their work and take them to their next class. 

This also received an unexplained no. 

That was four attempts to compromise so that we could both get what we wanted. But since he had the “power,” he said no to every single one of them.

I even explained to him that I would be done breastfeeding by the time we returned from Christmas break. So, only six more weeks. 

But even that didn’t matter to him. 

He obviously really needed to prove something to somebody and must’ve thought I looked like an easy target.

I stood firm in telling him that I wouldn’t stop pumping during my planning time, seeing as there were plenty of ways to compromise. 

He clearly wasn’t prepared for me to challenge him as I did. So, he quickly restructured his narrative. 

Narrative Number Two

The meeting went on, and his narrative changed in a matter of seconds. 

Suddenly, missing part of the Tuesday team meetings wasn’t the only problem. 

It must’ve suddenly occurred to him that his original narrative wouldn’t hold up for very long. 

He quickly began insinuating that I wasn’t working while I was pumping, meaning I “wasn’t working during working hours.” This instantly became his main concern.

However, this sure was one huge assumption since he was never around during planning to know what I was or wasn’t doing with my time.

So, now he’s forgotten about the collaboration. Now, me “not working” during working hours was his new issue.

There was one little problem that he didn’t quite think through with this new narrative, though.

Every single day I also pumped right after dropping my students off at the busses which just so happened to also be during working hours. 

But for some unusual reason, pumping during those working hours was never a concern. It was actually never even mentioned throughout this entire ordeal. 

I then reminded him that since it was 2019, breast pumps were now hands-free, which allowed me to work and pump at the same time. 

I made it very clear that I do, in fact, work while I pump. But this was his new story, and he was sticking with it. 

His only explanation for this claim was, “I can’t be in there to make sure you’re working while you pump.”

So, he just assumed I wasn’t working since he couldn’t be there to watch and make sure I was working while I pumped my breast milk?

Did this mean he went around to the other 50+ teachers throughout the building each day to “make sure” they were also working during their planning time? 

Why was he singling me out? Why was he so obsessed with controlling whether I was working during the first 15-20 minutes of my planning period or not? 

He then told me that if I did continue pumping, I would need to stay late to “make up” that time after work. 

He said that if I chose not to stay late, the only other option was to not pump during my planning period at all. 

Yep, that’s right. Not pump at all. Not just on the days we had team meetings but every single day.

So my options were to keep my child in daycare for more than the NINE hours a day she was already there or stop pumping, which would mean she wouldn’t get the breastmilk she needed.

Let’s break this down a bit.

Unless I had to stay late for some type of meeting, I’d typically leave work as soon as I could, according to my contract. 

My daughter would need to nurse as soon as we got home, and I already didn’t produce enough milk to leave an extra bottle each day, so leaving at that time was important. 

Also, once we got home, I’d have approximately 3 hours to spend with my daughter before it was time for her to go to bed. 

Three. 

Three hours, five days out of the week is all the time I had to spend with my daughter, and Mr. “Family Man” decided, with no proof, that I don’t work while I pump and required me to stay late, leaving me with even less time to spend with my daughter each day? 

I know what you might be thinking. Staying an extra 15-20 minutes each day to make up for the time I was pumping isn’t too bad, right?

Wrong. He stated that the instructional coach would be required to stay and work with me after school each day, not just for 15-20 minutes, but for “anywhere from 15 minutes to two hours depending on how long it took to finish what we were doing that day.”

On top of that, he told me that I’d need to stay late after work, not just for the six more weeks I needed to pump, but until he felt it wasn’t necessary anymore. Which meant he could punish me until the end of the year if he wanted to.

Shocked by all of this nonsense and ready for this horrific meeting to be over, I just said, “Okay,” to end the meeting and get out of there as quickly as possible.

The meeting ended with absolutely zero mention of the reading lesson I taught on that second day they came to observe me. 

But it was a great lesson and didn’t fit into the narrative he was fabricating. 

At this point, he thought he was winning. He thought he’d used his “power” as principal to show me who was boss. 

Little did he know he chose the wrong mama to mess with. 

And so it Begins

I instantly left work and drove to my parent’s house to pick up my daughter. 

My dad would always pick her up from daycare when I had to stay late for a meeting. 

When I arrived at my parents’ house, I told them what had happened. 

They both immediately said that what he was doing was wrong. 

They said I shouldn’t have to stay late to make up time that I was already working just because he chose to believe that I wasn’t, with no proof to back it up.

After my conversation with them, I immediately reached out for legal advice.

I explained the situation to the attorney, who helped me draft an email to the principal explaining that I would not be staying late and why.

I sent the email as soon as it was completed.

The attorney also helped me draft a letter to HR explaining everything going on. I sent that email around the same time. 

That evening, this was the response I received from the principal. 

“Please plan on meeting with me tomorrow, Thursday, October 24th at 8:30 in the conference room. Ms. oooo (HR) and Ms. ooooo (asst. principal) will be in attendance. I will provide coverage for your classroom.” (Copied as sent from Principal.)

I spoke with the attorney about what I could expect from this meeting, and she gave me some pointers on how to handle it.

Whatever he wanted to say clearly wasn’t something he wanted in writing, and you’re about to find out why.

Narrative Number Three

The next day, at 8:30 AM, I walked into the conference room with the principal, HR, and the assistant principal waiting for me. 

I was nervous but hopeful that since HR was involved, we might be able to come up with some sort of compromise.

Unfortunately, my boss had time from yesterday’s meeting to this morning to think about how much further he could take this. 

Clearly, he was too proud to just let it go.

I mean, a grown man telling a young first-time mother and second-year teacher that she can’t pump when she needs to for the next six weeks? He’s taking this a little too far at this point. 

However, you can see how he thinks he’d have a good chance to show his authority over me because what new, young second-year teacher is going to stand up against her big, “powerful” male boss? 

I sat down and waited for someone to start speaking. And once they did, I realized just how corrupt this backward little town I was working in actually was. 

As he and HR started speaking, it began to seem as if maybe they had come up with an even more elaborate story together. 

The narrative had gone from me simply needing more time to collaborate with my team to assuming I’m not working while I pump during my planning time… and then it got even more absurd.

The new narrative was that the 15-20 minutes I was using to pump during my planning period wasn’t just a problem because it was “during working hours,” but now, all of a sudden, it had caused me to become a horrible teacher.

So… first, I just needed to collaborate with my team. Now I’m just straight-up a bad teacher? 

Where’s the Proof?

I know what you’re thinking. They must’ve had proof to show that I was a bad teacher, right?  

Well, here’s what they had.

The Assistant Principal had given a few low observation scores from the most recent and only observation I’d had that year. I was given a score of two out of four. (A score of two means the teacher is inconsistent in that area).

So, out of the ten possible areas to be assessed, I was only scored for three of them, and two were unusually low.

That’s it. That’s the “proof” they had.

During a ten-minute walkthrough, I was marked down for not using popsicle sticks to call on students and for redirecting a few of my first graders (ages 6-7).

Take a look at the results (numbers seven & eight) of that observation below. Numbers 1-6 & 9 were not given a score or comments.

 

Keep in mind that this is my second year teaching and my first year teaching first grade.

Do you expect anyone to believe that all the new teachers out there are perfect? No mistakes, no improvements to be made, no new things to learn? 

And a couple of scores with room for improvement on just one observation suddenly made me a horrible teacher? 

I tried to defend myself the best I could, but it was three against one, and they were determined to gaslight me into believing their lies. 

I stood firm, letting them know I wouldn’t stop pumping and wouldn’t stay late after work, but they weren’t backing down either. 

I was stunned and completely shocked at what I heard next.

And it was what lit one hell of a fire under this mama.