Back to Work

It was February 2019, and my maternity leave was coming to an end. I’d soon be headed back to my classroom to finish out the school year with my third graders.

Just a few months earlier, I had my first baby girl, and I was loving every minute with her.

I spoke with my boss about what coming back to work would look like for me. She and I came up with a schedule that allowed me plenty of time to pump throughout the day. 

She was extremely accommodating and told me she’d support whatever I needed. She wanted my breastfeeding journey to be a successful one. 

So, from the day I returned to work to the end of that school year, I pumped during my planning period, at lunch, and after school with no issues. 

Once a week, during our planning time, we had team meetings. On those days, I would join my team about halfway through the meeting after I finished pumping. They would always catch me up on anything important I missed. 

Meetings during our planning period weren’t out of the ordinary and happened quite frequently. So, for any mandatory meetings, I would simply FaceTime a coworker to attend the meeting virtually. 

I was able to pump and fulfill my obligations as a teacher. Win-win!

I finished the year with great scores on my end-of-the-year performance review, which wasn’t a surprise since I had really good observation scores throughout the year. 

My students received scores on their big end-of-the-year test that my boss was proud of. 

So, my first year as a teacher was over and a success!

Change Coming

Before the completion of the school year, my boss announced that she’d be starting a new position the following year, and we’d be getting a brand new principal. 

It’d be someone who grew up in the town, went off to begin his career, and journeyed back to his hometown to be the principal of one of the few elementary schools in town. 

We were ready to meet him and see what new and awesome things he’d offer to our school!

When the school year ended, I was finally reunited with my baby girl! We spent all summer together just like we had months before, and everything was perfect again. 

Everything except the fact that I’d be leaving her all over again in just a few short months to begin a new school year. Hello, mom guilt!

Little did I know, this would be the start of the worst year of my life.

The New School Year

Summer 2019 came to a quick end, and it was time to start my second year as a teacher. 

I was teaching first grade this year and was very excited about it! 

It was time for teachers to begin pre-planning, so I walked into work, ready to start the new year. 

Although it was extremely hard to leave my baby, I put on a smile when I walked into work and went into teacher mode. I was ready for the new school year, in a new grade, with a new boss.

We met the incoming principal at the end of the last school year. 

He didn’t make the best first impression, but I assumed it was nerves.

The new school year began, and everything seemed to be going just fine. 

He seemed like such a nice man.

He promoted himself as a good, wholesome Christian man who was active in his church and the community.

He talked about his wife and children as if he loved his role as a father. 

He even expressed to the teaching staff his empathy for those of us who were parents and his understanding that family is always a priority. 

He began to refer to the staff as a “family” and continued describing us that way throughout the year.

He really seemed great. 

What could possibly go wrong with such a kind, seemingly perfect man who had a passion for educating children? 

Well, I quickly realized that those who try with all their might to make themselves out to be perfect are actually the ones who are extremely far from it.

How it Started

It was October 2019, about two months into the new school year.

I was about three months away from reaching my breastfeeding goal of one year. 

It was the time of year for teacher observations. 

I knew the principal, assistant principal, and instructional coach would walk into my classroom to observe me at any time. They’d then meet with me at the end of the day to discuss what they’d seen.

These types of formal observations would only happen a few times a year. 

Any other observations were more informal and would include only one administrator just popping in for a few minutes here and there throughout the year.

It was nearing the end of the day, and I had my students packing up all their things. 

I was writing notes home for parents and chatting with my students when the three of them entered my room. 

I wasn’t sure why they were there since it was the end of the day. They left after about a minute or two, and I never heard anything about the visit.

The next day, they all came in again. 

I figured they’d probably return before the end of the week since they came at the wrong time yesterday. 

This time, they came in earlier in the day while I was teaching a reading lesson. 

By the time it was over, and they had left my room, I took a deep sigh of relief. 

The lesson had gone well, and I was proud of what they’d seen. Yet, I heard absolutely nothing from them again. 

The next day, another seemingly ordinary day, they came in once again. Yep, all three of them. Again. 

I was confused since I had yet to hear anything about either of the previous visits. 

This time, panic set in as they entered my classroom for the third day in a row. 

As soon as I saw them enter my room, I silently freaked out. 

Why are they in my room again? What did I do? Yesterday’s lesson went well. What’s going on? Am I in some sort of trouble? 

The thoughts continued, and my ability to teach went right out the window.

All I could think about was why they were there again. I was trying to rack my brain to figure out what I’d done wrong. 

This was obviously not the best lesson I’d ever taught. To be completely honest, it was the absolute worst. 

I couldn’t even remember what happened during the lesson when it was over. I know I was teaching math, but that’s all I can remember. 

I have no recollection of what I did or said or if I was even still talking about math by the end of it. 

I was way too concerned with what they were doing in my room for the third day in a row with no explanation.  

Now, this was my second year teaching, and I’d never had any issues before. 

In fact, as I mentioned earlier, I had very good observation scores. There was obviously room for improvement since I was a brand new teacher, but there were no major areas of concern. 

I had great comments and scores from the previous principal and the assistant principal in many areas, including how well I managed my classroom. 

Before the three-day observation fiasco, this year I had only been observed a few times. 

One was still incomplete from just a week or so prior. The principal came to observe me but still hadn’t completed his written feedback and scores. 

I wondered why he waited so long to finish the feedback…

After not hearing back about the previous visits, I finally heard back after this one.

I was asked to come and meet with them that afternoon.

I was excited to hear their feedback from the reading lesson they’d observed on the second day. I knew there’d be several issues with the last lesson they saw, and I was prepared for that. 

But I wasn’t prepared for what happened when I walked into that meeting.