An Outsider’s Opinion

When all this nonsense began back in October 2019, I’d been talking to the people closest to me about what was happening. 

These people all supported me, and 100% agreed that what my principal was doing was horribly wrong.

I knew deep down that what was happening was wrong, but for some reason, I still needed someone who didn’t know me to give me an honest opinion about the situation.

So, I did something crazy. Something I never thought I’d do, but I was desperate for an outsider’s opinion. 

On November 5th, I was on my way to work and listening to my favorite morning radio show, The Bert Show, like I did every morning.

One of the segments they do involves reading drama-filled emails sent in by various people and giving advice on how to handle the situation.

They, of course, promote the segment by asking people to send in their drama through email so they can read it on-air and give advice.

When I heard this, I suddenly thought this was my chance to get an outsider’s opinion. 

So that night, I wrote an email explaining what was going on and hit send without even giving it a second thought.

I know… what was I thinking?!

But even just typing it all out and hitting send made me feel so much better! 

It was a way for me to vent, and I honestly didn’t think they’d ever read the email anyway. I mean, the emails they get must be much juicier than this, right? 

I went on about my life and honestly never gave the email another thought. I had really convinced myself that they’d never read it on air.

A few weeks later, I got an email from one of the producers of the show. 

It said they’d be reading my email on air soon and told me when to listen.

I was shocked, nervous, and excited! I couldn’t wait to hear what others thought of this situation.

The day they read my email on the air, I couldn’t listen live, so I listened to the podcast on my way home from work. 

It was so weird to hear someone reading my story for people all over the world to hear.

They read my email and immediately began discussing it.

They were so angry that this was happening to me. They couldn’t believe that the principal was acting this way. They totally had my back!

Even listeners of the show were calling in to say how horrible the situation was.

I was so relieved to hear that even these people who didn’t know me agreed with me. It made me feel so much better!

This was exactly why I wrote the email. I got what I was looking for, and I was happy!

To my surprise, the next day, the show continued the segment by having Attorney Steve Wolfe on the air with them to discuss the laws in Georgia.

They asked him questions, and he explained that the laws for working moms who breastfeed and need to pump at work are pretty terrible.

He said that although what was happening to me was wrong, it wasn’t illegal. Meaning my boss could get away with what he was doing to me and even do it to someone else in the future.

He explained how outdated and pointless the breastfeeding laws really are and answered a few questions from listeners. 

The segment wrapped up, and that was the end of my on-air drama. 

It was interesting to hear from an attorney about the situation, but it was very sad to learn that moms who want to breastfeed their babies have no rights in my state and many other states.

At this point, I just thought there was simply nothing I could really do about the situation. At least nothing I could do legally.

I finished listening to the show’s segment and went on with my life. 

The Urgent Email

After hearing the original segments on the radio, my life went on, and I just continued to deal with the retaliation and harassment from my boss.

I put the radio stuff behind me and was just trying to survive the rest of the school year. I never told anyone that I sent that email – not even my husband!

I was struggling to find some speck of positivity in what was happening to me, and although I was standing my ground the best I could, I was feeling so defeated. 

Then, on January 21, 2020, I opened my email app and saw an email from Tommy, one of the producers of The Bert Show, with the subject reading URGENT. 

I was a little confused as I opened the email. 

He’d written to tell me to listen to the show for the next two days to hear an update about my pumping at work issue.

Then, a follow-up email arrived with a phone number, and he asked that I call him as soon as possible.

Still confused, I wondered why in the world they’d be doing two more segments about my email a month later. 

After work, I called the producer as soon as I could, and what he said left me even more confused.

He told me that they wanted me to call the next morning to be on air as they told me about a surprise they had for me.

I agreed, but I think he heard the confusion in my voice because he assured me that the call would definitely be worth my time.

After I hung up, I wondered what surprise they could possibly have for me, and I had no idea what it could be.

The next morning, I woke up a bit earlier and dropped my daughter off a few minutes early so I could have some extra time to make the phone call right before getting to work.

My heart raced, and I started to become a bit sweaty as I pulled into one of those gas stations with a Subway connected to it. 

I parked right in front of the Subway with a few minutes to spare before calling.

As I sat in my car staring at the Subway employee beginning his shift, I continued to wonder what this phone call would entail. 

I thought about how I was about to talk on air to the hosts of a very well-known radio show. The show is broadcast all over the world, and I prayed that I wouldn’t sound like an idiot.

I looked at my phone, and it was time to call. I took a deep breath and started to dial. 

My heart raced faster and faster with each ring.

And then it stopped (the ringing and I think maybe my heart too), and there was a voice on the other end of the phone.

I took one more deep breath and thought to myself, well, here goes nothing.

The Unexpected Surprise

I was transferred to the producer I’d been emailing with, and he quickly told me what to expect. 

I’d hear the hosts finishing up a segment, I’d be on the voice disguiser, and they’d be calling me Janet to protect my identity.

I listened to the hosts finish up the previous segment, and then it started.

The host, Bert, began introducing this segment, and suddenly, I heard him say, “Hey, Janet!”

He asked me to quickly recap my situation for the listeners, and as soon as I began talking to them, my nerves weirdly melted away. 

I’d been listening to this radio show for over ten years, and it honestly felt like I was on the phone with my friends.

I felt nervous and strangely comfortable at the same time.

After I shared my story, he began to remind everyone about the attorney they had on the show and their discussion about the outdated laws.

He continued on, and I was shocked at what I heard next.

Bert explained that after the original segment, they did some off-air talking with the attorney they had on.

He’d gotten in touch with Georgia Senator Zahra Karinshak, and she immediately began the process of creating a new breastfeeding law for the state of Georgia that would replace the old one.

The new law would require employers to provide break time for nursing mothers to pump at work.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. A new law was being written all because of my email!

How amazing! I was so incredibly happy to hear that news.

But it didn’t end there.

The other host, Kristin, told me that since none of this would’ve happened without me, they’d also be naming the new breastfeeding bill after me. 

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. 

I was speechless.

I immediately got chills and suddenly felt like I was in a dream.

It was exactly what I needed to help get me through the remainder of the year. 

Something positive was finally coming out of all of this mess, and nothing my boss did to me that day or any other day that year was going to knock me off the cloud I was on.

News Travels Fast

After being on the radio that day, my story and the news about the law began to spread pretty quickly.

11 Alive and several other news stations soon began reporting the story.

Producer Tommy told me I’d soon have to reveal my identity. I would need to decide on a name for the new bill so they could promote it on the show.

I was able to get in touch with the attorney, Steve, to ask him a few questions about what revealing my identity could mean for me as far as my job was concerned.

He assured me that it may or may not affect my job any more than it already was but that it definitely wouldn’t get any better once my boss and the school board employees found out.

I quickly retained Steve as my attorney for the remainder of the school year because I didn’t expect things to go well once this all came out.

I got in touch with Senator Karinshak to let her know how thankful I was for taking this on. She invited me to come and speak in front of the legislative committee to testify and share my story.

I decided that all of this was an opportunity, a once-in-a-lifetime chance, to make a difference. 

It was an opportunity for me to use my voice and my story to stand up for not just myself but for every other woman who had been and will be mistreated for needing to pump at work.

My voice wasn’t going to be silenced. 

I told the producer, Tommy, that I was ready to reveal who I was. 

I was then invited in-studio to meet the members of The Bert Show and Steve Wolfe to discuss my story and updates about the bill on air with them. 

While on air, they asked what I wanted to name the bill. 

I decided that none of this would have even been possible had my baby girl never been born. I was fighting this fight for her, too. I was her voice when she didn’t have one yet.

So, I named the bill “Charlotte’s Law” after my sweet baby girl. 

It was one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done and something I hope I never forget.

I also reached out to Senator Karinshak and accepted her offer to testify in front of the committee. I was so excited but sadly unable to do it due to the 2020 pandemic.

The news quickly got out around my school and throughout the other schools in the county.

I even had other teachers pull me aside at work to tell me that they thought what I was doing was amazing. 

I never knew for sure when my boss found out about the attention my story was gaining, but it didn’t matter. He was never going to back down, and he knew the people higher up in the school system had his back no matter what.

With all the positive attention about Charlotte’s Law making its way through the Legislative process, I had gained the strength and confidence I needed to help me survive the end of the school year.

How It Ended

The mistreatment, the lies, the retaliation, and the harassment continued at work each day.

Then, suddenly, in March 2020, the school shut down, and everyone was working from home. 

As bad as the pandemic was, in a way, it gave me so much relief. I felt like I could breathe again. 

The sick feeling I got in my stomach at 7:15 each morning on my drive to work suddenly stopped. I was no longer riddled with anxiety about what could possibly happen that day.

I was just home with Charlotte, which was exactly where I wanted to be. 

The funny thing about having to teach from home during Covid was that I never heard from any of the administrators anymore.

With me being such a horrible teacher and all, you’d think they’d be a little concerned about whether or not my students were being properly educated from home, but nope.

They went from “needing” to observe me 2-3 times a day to no contact at all overnight. 

The principal spent so much of his time worrying about what he’d do to me next that when it came time for him to deal with a real problem, he didn’t have so much free time to harass me anymore. 

Unfortunately, as bad as I’d love to tell you how things ended with the school, for legal reasons, I can’t.

But what I can say is that I’m free & I’m living my best life.

I can say that I’m the one who didn’t let someone dictate how I lived my life and how I chose to feed my baby just because he called himself my boss. 

I can say that I’m the one who is proud and unashamed of how I governed myself.

And I can say that I’m the one who can proudly look my daughters in the eye one day and tell them that I fought for them and for all breastfeeding mothers.

And I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

On my last day at that school, sitting in the very room where he threatened to fire me, I told him I had just one last question for him.

I looked him straight in the eye and asked, “If a grown man ever treated your wife or your daughter the way you’ve treated me, how would it make you feel?”

I expected nothing less from him when he reacted by getting up and walking away from the fight he was so eager to start but somehow wasn’t man enough to finish. 

In the End

If you’d asked me five years ago where I saw myself five years down the road, what I would’ve said looks nothing like what my life is now.

I would’ve said I’d be teaching and possibly returning to school to further my education.

But based on how life is going right now, I don’t see that happening anytime soon, if ever.

The sad part about this story is that administrators, like the one I had, are the reason why so many amazing teachers leave education. It’s obviously not the only reason, but I can guarantee it’s a big one.

With all the other reasons teachers leave, we really don’t need our own leaders pushing great teachers out of the profession.

I know that sometimes in life, you just have to deal with crappy bosses, collect your paycheck, and go on with your life. 

However, no one should have to endure outright abuse from anyone in a position of power. 

Jobs come and go. And when they go, you’ll be quickly replaced. 

So, for me, no job will ever come before my children’s well-being or my own.

I’ll always stand up for myself and my children. And I’ll teach my daughters to do the same.

This situation has opened my eyes to a lot of new realities. 

As bad as I wanted to fight that fight to the end, to pursue a lawsuit against him and the school, to stand up for all women who go through this type of harassment, to get the truth out with every bit of evidence, and to keep him from ever doing this to anyone ever again, I had to make the best choice for me.

I chose to protect myself. 

No, not from being exposed, but from being exposed to him and the damage that he would cause for however long a lawsuit would’ve lasted. 

I chose my family.

This person had already taken enough of my time and energy away from my family. He didn’t deserve any more of it. My child did. My marriage did. My family did. And I did.

I chose happiness.

I’ve since been able to heal from this. I’ve been able to keep my focus on my family and myself. I’ve been able to spend more time with my children. And I’ve gained the courage to chase my dreams.

I chose freedom.

Waking up every day and going to a place where someone thinks they have that much control over what I can and can’t do will never be okay. 

All of this made me realize more than ever that there’s a better life for me out there. 

Had this not happened, I would’ve continued to talk myself out of starting something new. 

I would have kept convincing myself that the change was not worth the risk, that I was comfortable and stable as a teacher, and that I shouldn’t do anything to mess that up. 

Life is short. 

The stress, the daily nonsense, the hypocrisy, the amount of time spent, and the morsel of money that was my salary were absolutely not worth everything I was giving up to be there.

Now, I’m taking the risks. I’m my own boss. 

I get to educate my own children. I get to watch them grow and experience new things with them.

What I went through, I wouldn’t wish on anyone. 

But it got me to where I am today, and if you ask me if I wish it had never happened, my answer would be no. 

Even though I know every workplace isn’t toxic, mine was, and it woke me up to the truths of corporate life. Many people experience workplace abuse every single day, and it’s not okay.

It made me stronger and more confident. It pushed me to chase my dreams harder than ever.

So, I know my old boss is sitting back in his office with a grin on his face, thinking he won, thinking he got to me, and thinking he ruined my life, but I have news for him. 

I won. And I’m happier now than I ever was in that school building. 

So, Mr. Principal, sir, if you’re reading this, thank you for pushing me toward my dreams and helping me discover how much better my life could be. 😉